Last night we visited the red light district; a place full of darkness and loss souls. At first I couldn’t bring myself to look inside the bars or even make eye contact with people who were selling stuff. But as I began to wonder about this, I realized the Holy Spirit was working within me. As I started to pray for God to reveal more to me, a lot of deep insecurities began to surface. I was immediately judgmental rather than loving. I couldn’t help but to see them in a different light. As I continued on, I was filled with pain and discomfort; my heart was breaking as I wondered why this was happening. I wondered how I could be of any use; I am after all only one man…one very lost and broken man. It’s easy to remember the simple truths like “God uses the least to lead His kingdom” but my heart is always drowned in insecurities.
This night was emotionally and spiritually draining. After debriefing I showered and tried to sleep. As I laid in bed, I still felt uncomfortable as my heart was still shattered. What I shared in debriefing didn’t do any justice to the thoughts on my mind; the tears that were shed as my soul wept. Knowing that I couldn’t possibly go to sleep like this, I listened to a song called Hope’s Anthem. He is where my hope lies and in Him alone. He is my anchor, never shaking. He brings hope to the hopeless, giving his heart to the broken. He is my joy. Let hope arise.
On that note, I fell asleep knowing that God is ever present and maybe my calling is simply to be here in Thailand; to pray as I walk; to live out Romans 12:1-2 and striving for making worship a lifestyle.
God is my everlasting love. He is the God of the redeemed. He had to bring me all the way out here to teach me something. If you have time…read through James 2, Romans 2, and while you read listen to Hope’s Anthem and God of the Redeemed by Bethel on YouTube. Maybe you’ll get a tiny glimpse of what’s on my heart right now.
Here's the links to the videos:
Hope's Anthem: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crPyH-68KZU
God of the Redeemed: